I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hippo gnu deer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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