Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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