I want to have your abortion
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
