Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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