When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
