i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
