i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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