You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
