he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
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I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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