Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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