Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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