We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize