Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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