I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
