I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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