Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
