I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
