Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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