So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My ass is underappreciated
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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