Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize