who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
