Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Drake has all the answers
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
