we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
do herpes really smell.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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