I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
