at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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