just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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