it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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