Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
