I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
