either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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