Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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