it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
