I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
