If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
