that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
