I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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