She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
