I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
