Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
