Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
