I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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