Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize