He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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