We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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