***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Operation Purity has been aborted
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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