What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
