I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
