Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've blown a few things in my day
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
