hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
