My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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