wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
