it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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