every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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