I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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