So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize