R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I want to make a zoo with you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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