i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
