is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Vodka?
Forever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
