Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
