I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
not ubering you a puppy
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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