Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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