You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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