Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
