Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize