i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
