Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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